


Up

by Nadja_Lee



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt, Friendship, Gen, Insecurity, Pretending, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-09
Updated: 2003-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Daniel thinks about Jonas and why he’s so ‘up’ as Daniel called it.Timeline: Season 7, in the middle of “Homecoming”
Kudos: 8





	Up

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to Dee Dee for beta! *hugs*

**Up**

“Well, yeah, who could argue? I mean, lousy hours, constant peril,” Daniel’s voice was somewhere between sarcasm and annoyance as he spoke of the things he did recall about being a member of SG-1.

"On the bright side...you get to travel a lot.”

Daniel looked searchingly at Jonas; then smiled a little. “You're very up.”

It was merely an observation but it made him wonder why. Maybe it was his searching mind but he found it intriguing that a man who had been through what Jonas had could still be so optimistic; especially now when Anubis had just tortured him and where his entire home planet was in danger. Having grown up on a planet torn apart by constant fighting and war one should think he would be a very grim person. On the other hand if you grew up being told your world could end every other second he guessed such grim situations had to be counterbalanced with a sense of optimism. On Earth it had been the same time. During the 60s a feeling of optimism had bloomed in the middle of what was a major crisis and what could have been the end of the world as the Cold War between USA and Soviet had continued to escalate. Actually the more he thought about it then more sense it made. If you lived in such a dark world you would need to either try and be your own light or perish with the darkness. Jonas had simply done what he had to in order to survive. Hidden under the smile the young man gave him Daniel could see a world of hurt and pain that he fought so hard to hide. Being forced to leave all he cared for behind could not have been easy and he knew his friends, especially Jack, hadn’t made it any easier on him. Many people when faced with an unknown situation and more or less hostile people tried to appear optimistic and maybe a bit childish in hopes of pleasing and or drawing some sympathy from the people around them; a typical defence mechanism. It made Daniel wonder just what Jonas was feeling and thinking since wearing a mask to hide his pain seemed to have become second nature to him.

“Yeah…” Jonas replied, something in his voice made Daniel convinced that he knew he was playing a role but it was all he had left. As things stood now he could end up the unwilling pawn that helped Anubis destroy his home world and from their earlier conversation Daniel knew it would become another thing Jonas would add to his guilt and nightmare list. 

Things were rarely as black and white as they appeared to be and looking at Jonas Daniel knew that was also the case here. Daniel hoped that with time Jonas would be able to find some kind of peace of mind but unfortunately he doubted it could be with the SGC; on Earth he would always be an alien and an outsider and even if Daniel would have loved to work with him he didn’t want him to have to play pretend out of fear and uncertainty, to never feel at ease. After the physical and emotional Hell Anubis had just put him through he at least deserved some sense of peace; to be with someone he could be himself around.

“…Well, truth is, I don't thing that, uh, Colonel O'Neill was very comfortable having me around,” Jonas finished his sentence and Daniel could hear the hidden pain in that statement and the obvious dimension of how Jack had been around him. Daniel knew first hand how cruel Jack could be to people he didn’t like without doing more than using words and body language and added the others on the base…He felt even more sympatric for the young man before him. Knowing it was a small comfort he still wanted to try something.

“No, that's not what he told me. He said that your were a good man.”

Jonas looked hopeful and surprised at Daniel. “Really? He said that?”

”Yeah. You're shocked he never let on?”

Jonas gave him a piercing look and Daniel knew that he knew the truth; he was just trying to make him feel better. His face fell a little but he fought the hurt back.

”Anyway...now that you're back...”

Daniel sighed wordlessly. It was obvious that the young man was afraid of what would become of him now and Daniel couldn’t blame him; not many had helped rid him of the impression that if ever he came back than Jonas would be dumped on some Godforsaken ice world somewhere on the first given chance. Still, he felt his little assurance had been worth a shot even though Jonas’ sharp mind had seen through it for what it was; his own compassion and not Jack’s. For just the smallest flicker of a second Jonas had looked happy and the smile on his face had actually reached his eyes and seemed real. No matter what happened Daniel vowed that he would try to help Jonas feel better even though it meant he would most likely have to work someplace apart from Jack and probably the SGC in general as the older man’s coldness seemed a constant source of his pain and frustration and few of the people on the SGC had helped to improve the situation. Somehow…he would help Jonas get a sense of peace…He had more than earned that much at least. Somehow…

“Let's worry about getting out of here first.”

Somehow Jonas…I will make sure that your smiles will be real and true, Daniel silently vowed. Somehow…anyhow.

The End


End file.
